Our culture is just screwed up. And I used to think that there was something wrong with me.
After I watched Braveheart and The Bourne Identity for the first time, I heard a friend of mine telling his friend on the phone that we was "manning" me up. So, let me get this straight: I was somehow less of a man because I had never gotten around to watching these movies?
Somehow, somewhere, we've been lied to. Society seems to have a very refined definition of a man. John Rambo. William Wallace. James Bond. Jason Bourne. Macho tough guys who save the day and get the girl(s) in the end. In the real world, this means that if you don't do some approved "man" activity, you are somehow less of a man. Did a committee sit down and decide "These are the marks of manhood?"
Seriously, guys who don't play sports or shoot guns or go to NASCAR or football games or whatever - well they're looked down upon. I was one of these guys. I didn't like sports - I somehow got bypassed on the athletic gene. I'm not competitive at all. I'll watch sports, but I'd much rather sit down and have a good conversation at (insert restaurant here). I love to read. I don't mind getting dirty, but I don't like to get dirty.
And I was often ridiculed for it. Imagine what it does to a young boy to hear that he is a "sissy," "wimp," or worse (I've been called every name there is to be called). All I could respond was "there must be something wrong with me." And so the process of self-hatred began. I have struggled for years with a sense of my "lack" of "manhood" - at least by the world's definition.
But recently I have come to understand things differently. God doesn't make only John Rambo or Jason Bourne kind of men. Men who are rough and tough and don't take no crap off nobody. He also made men who are gentle - who can comfort someone who's hurting, who'll take a small child in his arms when everyone else is annoyed by them, who will give himself in service to others. Don't believe me? Look at Jesus. He embodied all of these characteristics: he is after all the Lion (Revelation 5:5 - strong, fierce, wild) and the Lamb (Revelation 5:6 - gentle, kind, weak).
Recently, while painting a stencil pattern on my grandma's patio, I realized something: I felt good doing this. I didn't feel weak or insecure. I felt confident. In fact, I was even enjoying myself. Now I realize that painting stencils isn't a very manly thing in the eyes of our society, but I've now realized that I just don't care. If you want to belittle me for not doing the right "manly" things, then you are clearly the one with the problem.
So I've stopped caring what other "manly" men think of me. And if you're a man that doesn't fit this society's definition, you shouldn't care either. Stop caring what others think of you. You will truly be a man when you embrace the type of man that God created you to be.
What do you think makes a man a man? What's wrong with men being sensitive? Why do you think this way? What can you do to change your perception and treatment of other men who may not fit your view of manhood?
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Hey, the world always needs more men who can figure out how to make a patio look better. My son once covered our patio completely with rose petals and cooked a nice dinner to eat outside with his girlfriend, and she thought it was plenty manly and is now his beautiful wife. Seriously though,just remember that most women grow up and realize they enjoy the company of someone who can think deeply and have a real conversation as a real man who is not self conscious about what anybody thinks. And they come to know that's the kind of man who will put his wife and kids ahead of any nascar,ball game, or hunting trip, which unfortunately is relatively rare, so the lucky ones with men like that truly appreciate the blessing they have. At least they should. Of course there are women, and men, who never grow up and try to live their immature high school fantasy life forever- it doesn't work so well when the first gray hair and wrinkle shows up. Not that I would know of course lol! Really, you are a thoughtful, gentle, kind man and no matter what you think you have planned for yourself, God is going to show you he has already planned for you the girl he has chosen for you, someone who needs a sensitive, gentle man that IS really a manly man. And while this is kinda off topic, when I was a little girl I was considered a tomboy! My mom had to fight me to wear a dress ever. but I know that's easier than being a boy called names, I was proud to be called a tomboy and it ended soon enough. boys seem to get stuck with stricter "rules" for gender. But we are all supposed to grow up to be men and women, some just take longer and some never do. But if you survey women, I bet most of them would rather have a thoughtful, gentle, conversational man than the type who thinks a serious deep talk about real thoughts and people is a waste. Or at least they'll realize it someday.
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